Undivided Attention
I had a very rich experience recently. I was visiting my then-8-week-old grandson at his home in Philadelphia. I had almost two whole weekdays (just the days, not the evenings) as his sole caretaker. It was a gift to have this much time with him.
For me, much about this experience was remarkable. First, I had cleared my plate completely and was able to be undivided in my attention to him. My clients knew I was checking email and phone only in the evening, and I was otherwise on vacation from my professional life. I had no meals to prepare, no errands to run, no one really expecting anything from me. Life was very simple: it was just about the baby. And there was no rush.
When my own children were little, even when I was working part-time, even when I knew enough with my second baby to take some maternity leave, there were always competing demands for my attention: my work, the house, meals, my husband, the other child, etc.
Spending this time with my grandbaby, I had no competing demands, and there was no need to be in a hurry.
What a joyful experience — to be fully present, in the present, with this new little guy. Granted, being with one’s own first grandchild is a very special, off-the-charts experience.
But so was being undivided and in the present.
It reminded me how much there is to be gained by being fully present to whatever I’m doing, whenever possible. It reminded me how stressful it is to multi-task– even to just mentally multi-task. And how in contrast, just being here now, wherever and whatever “here” is, is actually a qualitatively different experience. And a better one.
Since returning from Philly I’ve been able to bring some of this consciousness with me. It’s helped me be in less of a hurry all the time. It’s also helped me be more singleminded about what I’m doing. When writing this post, for example, I’ve been able to just work on the post, rather than also feeling pulled in other directions.
Sometime today or this week or this month, I encourage you to give yourself the gift of just doing one thing at a time. Have a taste of being here now. Even if you’re just clearing your desk or composing a simple email, I suspect it will feel better than it usually does. If you try this while being in conversation with someone, I suspect the shift will be even more palpable.
Moments of being here now and not rushing can serve as little oases where you can refresh.
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