I’ve had the privilege over the last few years of working with some fabulous women who were living the transition from management to leadership.  I say “living the transition” rather than “moving” because it’s much more of a process than a singular event.   It’s a paradigm shift that happens over time. 

Here are a few of its elements:

1. You laser-sharpen what you say and write.  In E.B. White’s words: “When you say something, make sure you have said it. The chances of your having said it are only fair.”  More succinct communication is often the result of :
     a) better grasp of the bigger picture, fuller understanding of exactly what to communicate and why
   b) greater courage and power to speak the truth and stand behind it
   c) less time/tolerance for fuzziness.

2. You replace your old M/O of “I have to do it all myself” with the understanding that you have to have more help.  Doing it all yourself is not a model for leadership; it’s a model for burnout.  

3. You delegate day-to-day management in order to regularly take yourself to 80,000 feet to see the big picture.   This is particularly true if you are coming from an operations function.  You can’t re-think strategic mission at the same time as worrying about whether there will be enough chairs in the room for the Big Meeting (and wondering who’s on that?).

4. You start contributing at a higher, stronger, more strategic level because you stop wasting time feeling “less than,” second guessing yourself, and feeling like you have to justify your seat at the table.  You ARE at the table.  You start knowing you belong there. 

5. You ask for what you need, knowing that what supports you also supports others and the work you are all doing. 

6. You stop tolerating bad behavior; you redress it.

7.  You get more help. 

8. You start trusting our own questions.   You get them answered, either by finding them out or by convening the conversations that will create them.

9. You become willing to see yourself as a more powerful person. It just stops being a big deal.  You grow into it.

What have I left out?

Something very curious is happening in my business.  I am being contacted more frequently these days to consult or present to a variety of organizations regarding flexible scheduling:

• how individuals can most successfully propose it to their managers
• how managers can have effective conversations about it
• the degree to which flexible scheduling helps retain talented individuals
• how an individual can figure out whether/how his job can be flexed
• how an individual can know whether flex is “the answer” for her/him.

I come to this topic from the perspective of the individual; most of my work since 1995 has been coaching individual professionals on work-life and career-related dynamics.  Since many of my clients are managers, I also know the perspective of the individual manager regarding her own work-life balance and flex options as well as those of her direct reports. 

Why am I seeing a sudden uptick in inquiries about the policy side of things?  Have we reached some tipping point and now organizations in many more industries have to offer flexible scheduling policies in order to attract and retain the talent they need?  As distinct from just a few years ago, when only the most progressive industries and companies had such policies?  Is this only happening in companies experiencing growth?  In fact, all of the organizations I’ve heard from are doing well.

But I know some companies are scaling back on flex policies, siting the recession as the cause.  And I know that some individuals who would love to flex their jobs are not even thinking about bringing it up right now, they are so afraid of making waves, so afraid of losing their jobs.

What’s happening in your industry and in your organization?  Are policies for flexible scheduling part of your landscape?  Who uses them? 

In some organizations, they’re only available to the most senior and talented people with the best track records, and only then because these people make it clear they won’t stay at the company without them. 

In other companies, flex policies are used mostly by people who are not ambitious and not on the leadership track; working a reduced or non-standard schedule can be both an indicator and cause of being off the leadership track at places where this is the culture.

Still other companies have flex policies that are used by their executive leadership, who not only support it, they also model it.  These tend to be the companies where flexing thrives, and so does the business.   

I suspect that the increase I am seeing in work-life policy work indicates that a tipping point has been reached and many more organizations are scrambling to institute these policies.  Just the way I imagine at some point many years ago, another tipping point was reached and organizations realized they needed to offer health insurance. 

Either that or some recent change to the SEO strategy on my website  has just made me findable in a new way.  Or both.   

A gifted manager/leader had a conversation with a direct report who, though recognized as being highly talented, was passed over for a particular project.   The manager asked her report three fabulous questions, which I want to share with you in this post.   They are:

1.  What was it you wanted to learn in that project?  How else or where else might you learn that, and how what can I support that?  Let’s watch for other opportunities that will get you exposed to this content.

2.  Who did you want to get to know through that project?  I will keep that in mind and watch for other opportunities for you to work with that person or others with the salient characteristics (the level, position, skillset, discipline, etc that was of interest to you). 

3.  What did you want that project to lead you to?  To the extent that you saw it as a stepping stone to something else, what was that “something else”?  I want to understand that so I can watch for other opportunities for you to do that.

From where I sit, these questions are powerful because they acknowledge and validate the direct report’s ambition, drive, and professional agenda.  They also let her know that this manager wants to support that professional agenda. 

This is in stark contrast to other managers in other environments, who see an individual’s interest in other projects and other people in the organization as “disloyal,” suspicious, and to be nipped in the bud.  Not a great way to retain talented people!

Another way these questions reveal strong leadership skill is that they are likely to inspire strong strategic thinking on the part of the direct report, if she is not already thinking that way.  These questions ask her to take her own interests, ambition, and curiosity seriously.   They ask her to think about projects and people within the organization that can forward her own development. 

Further, these questions gave rise to a conversation that let the direct report know (accurately) that her manager sees her development as part of her managerial role.    While many managers understand that developing their team is part of their job,  not all are comfortable facilitating a conversation at this fine a grain. 

Some professionals have an innate understanding of how to navigate their own professional trajectory.  They very naturally seek out the relationships and experiences that take them where they want to go.  But most people are not such naturals when it comes to navigating their work life. 

Most people have to learn to do this.  In my experience, this learning typically happens during people’s mid-career years, but of course it can happen at any time.   There is no underestimating how much positive impact a great manager can have on someone in this learning curve. 

That said . . . it is also the case that professionals and entrepreneurs at any level can and should learn to ask themselves powerful questions like these.