Something very curious is happening in my business.  I am being contacted more frequently these days to consult or present to a variety of organizations regarding flexible scheduling:

• how individuals can most successfully propose it to their managers
• how managers can have effective conversations about it
• the degree to which flexible scheduling helps retain talented individuals
• how an individual can figure out whether/how his job can be flexed
• how an individual can know whether flex is “the answer” for her/him.

I come to this topic from the perspective of the individual; most of my work since 1995 has been coaching individual professionals on work-life and career-related dynamics.  Since many of my clients are managers, I also know the perspective of the individual manager regarding her own work-life balance and flex options as well as those of her direct reports. 

Why am I seeing a sudden uptick in inquiries about the policy side of things?  Have we reached some tipping point and now organizations in many more industries have to offer flexible scheduling policies in order to attract and retain the talent they need?  As distinct from just a few years ago, when only the most progressive industries and companies had such policies?  Is this only happening in companies experiencing growth?  In fact, all of the organizations I’ve heard from are doing well.

But I know some companies are scaling back on flex policies, siting the recession as the cause.  And I know that some individuals who would love to flex their jobs are not even thinking about bringing it up right now, they are so afraid of making waves, so afraid of losing their jobs.

What’s happening in your industry and in your organization?  Are policies for flexible scheduling part of your landscape?  Who uses them? 

In some organizations, they’re only available to the most senior and talented people with the best track records, and only then because these people make it clear they won’t stay at the company without them. 

In other companies, flex policies are used mostly by people who are not ambitious and not on the leadership track; working a reduced or non-standard schedule can be both an indicator and cause of being off the leadership track at places where this is the culture.

Still other companies have flex policies that are used by their executive leadership, who not only support it, they also model it.  These tend to be the companies where flexing thrives, and so does the business.   

I suspect that the increase I am seeing in work-life policy work indicates that a tipping point has been reached and many more organizations are scrambling to institute these policies.  Just the way I imagine at some point many years ago, another tipping point was reached and organizations realized they needed to offer health insurance. 

Either that or some recent change to the SEO strategy on my website  has just made me findable in a new way.  Or both.   

Hands down, one of the most powerful things time-starved, crazy-busy people can do for themselves is to strengthen their boundary-setting skills.  Big bang for the buck, in my experience. 

Here are a few boundary-strengthening ideas that have made a difference for my clients and for me.  

1. Don’t be an Automatic Helper.  Before jumping in or committing to help, ask yourself these questions:

• Do I have the necessary resources available (time, money, focus, attention) to help in this situation?
• What other commitments of mine will take a hit (be postponed or taken off the list entirely) if I take on this new one? 
• What will I have to say “no” to in order to say “yes” to helping out here?

Based on your answers to these questions, make a conscious decision.

2. Practice saying this line out loud: “Let me think about this and get back to you.” 

3. Feeling guilty doesn’t necessarily mean you’re doing anything wrong.  Sometimes it means you’re doing something different and that feels uncomfortable.

If you’d like to hear more ideas about how and when to set appropriate boundaries, consider coming to a 1-hour teleconference I’m leading on Thursday, October 22, at 1:00 Eastern.  Can’t make it to this one, but want to be notified the next time it’s offered?  Email me with ”boundaries teleconference” in the subject line, and I’ll send you an email announcing the next time this teleconference runs.   

A coaching client of mine learned recently that she is capable of “aggressive productivity.” During a 2-week period, she cleared her decks and made an important project her absolute top priority. She was astonished at how much she was able to accomplish and stunned by its quality. 

She learned how powerful it is to work on one thing at a time, unambivalently and unambiguously focused.  It’s also satisfying, validating, and rewarding, though certainly challenging in its own ways.

Here are some tools that helped her pull this off:

• She regularly asked herself, “What do I have to say ‘no’ to in order to say ‘yes’ to this project?” She said no to invitations, distractions, temptations, and competing demands. Some came from outside herself, such as an invitation to see a movie with a good friend she hadn’t seen in a while.  Some came from within, such as ”I should clean my messy kitchen” or ”I should attend to my other work.”  These “opportunities” are always out there.  And within us.
• She imagined herself a warrior with a sword she brandished when her project came under attack by forces outside of it. Whether you’re protecting your focus for 2 weeks or 4 minutes, YOU’LL NEED A SWORD TOO. Because it always comes down to “this moment,” and sometimes your sheer will just needs some backup.  A visual can help.
• She practiced very good self-care during this period of aggressive productivity.  Knowing it was like a marathon or other exreme performance event, she made sure she stayed nourished and hydrated. She got enough sleep, ate well, planned quality breaks, and made things easy for herself outside of this project.

What do you need to say “no” to in order to say “yes” to what’s most important to you?

Where do you keep your sword? (We all have one, somewhere.)

Where could you turn up the volume on self-care in order to finish your event?

Never underestimate the enormous power of single-minded focus, even for short bursts.

 What do you call a working mother whose kids have grown up and left home?  She’s no longer a “working mother” as we’ve all come to know and understand the term.  I’ve come up with the term “Working Mom Emeritus.”  What do you think?  Is there a more concise way to express this?  

There are a lot of us out here.  Our kids are now in their 20s and 30s, and some of them are beginning to have children of their own.  Some of us are even involved in the care of those kids, our grandchildren.  (My own daughters (age 27 and 31) have dogs, not kids.)

Here’s what I can tell you about work life balance from the other side of the intensive parenting years.  It gets vastly simpler.  Not necessarily easier, because if you have a tendency to be a workaholic, well, there’s even more opportunity to do so when you’re not committed to getting to the ice hockey game or having a decent dinner on the table by 6:30.  But it does get simpler.

For one thing, there are fewer stakeholders.  After the intensive parenting years, it’s just you and possibly a significant other in your primary circle.  It’s not that your adult children want nothing to do with you.  Hopefully, you play your cards in such a way and are lucky enough that you are still part of their lives and vice versa.  But you’re just not in their lives in the same daily, intensive way.  And it’s really OK.

And then there’s your work, which of course can consume your whole life.  The challenge is to stay conscious and intentional about how you allocate your time and where you draw your boundaries.  

For some of us, it was easier to have firm boundaries around work when our other time went to our very compelling other work: our children.  When there are no children at home, there is a very real risk of giving it all away to work.  Particularly for driven women who have not yet “made their mark” and for women in challenging financial straits.  

But the beautiful little non-intuitive secret is that giving it all away is not sustainable.  Being completely out of balance with overwork is like trying to run a marathon without drinking any water.  You crash and burn.  You can’t finish the event.  The ONLY way to finish an endurance event is to hydrate along the way.  Which translates into doing the things that nourish you for the long haul, whatever they are for you.  For most people that includes having regular time off from task list mindset.